I have a confession: I used to be one of those moms everybody hated. You know, the one who always had everything under control. My kids were always dressed nicely, with teeth brushed and hair combed. They usually were well behaved in public. I was always dressed and ready for the day by 9 with my house picked up. You get the picture. Having two kids was a breeze for me.
I am no longer one of those moms.
Perhaps today was particularly hard, but I definitely do not have everything under control with three. These days, I am lucky to have my kids dressed by 9, usually after many tears have been shed. And then, Wade is usually in sweat pants, because he hates any pants that are not soft, and Sam has mismatched shoes because he refuses to wear his Pumas that actually look cute with his outfit. Enough tantrums have been thrown in the last few weeks, I am terrified to think what would happen if I took all three out in public. I am NEVER dressed by 9 now, and usually don't get around to showering until noon....if at all. It seems I spend more days in pajamas than clothes.
Perhaps it is just because everything is still so new, and things will eventually adjust. I sure hope so. But having three kids is hard! And more than just our outward appearances, I feel so stressed about having time for each of my boys. I can tell each of them is crying out for attention, and I just cannot give them all the love they need. I feel Luke's newborn-ness slipping away without me being able to snuggle him as much as I want. And while I have an amazing husband who does so much to help me, it still feels like it is not enough. Hopefully soon I will pull out of this fog.
On a happy note, I was able to snap a few pictures of my babe at one month old (plus a few days). He is definitely one of my boys.